在婚姻中,快樂的人少,出軌的倒還比較多,在一個愛情自由主義比資本主義還霸權的年代,與其說這是一個諷刺,還不如說這是視結婚為愛情必然結果的下場.
婚姻與愛情,兩者純然不同,婚姻是社會化下的產物,最核心的概念是維持社會的秩序,說穿了它是性權的分配與宣告,再講明一點,一個蘿蔔一個坑的一夫一妻制是對性權的鞏固及繁衍所有權的確保,對社會穩定提供一定的基礎,這一點和法律有點相似.
第一堂的法律課,教授很可能告訴你,法律追求的是正義,然而你對法律更了解的時候,你會知道正義是法律考慮的價值之一而不是唯一,例如,新法所訂定的懲罰條款往往明訂不溯及既往,所以我過去幹壞事沒事,今天做就有事,這一點違反正義的概念,但其中隱含對社會秩序的追求,因為社會是演變的,沒有人能確保今日的行為完全合乎未來的法律,所以新法不溯及既往除去這種不確定性,秩序是法律及人類社會許多習俗的核心價值之一,婚姻也是如此.
但法律與婚 姻不見得合乎人性,就像法律懲罰詐欺,但詐欺是人類的天性;婚姻限定一對一的關係,但有多少人能發自內心如實地屢行,愛情的本質是人類原始的激情與感性, 它接近藝術上對美愉悅的感受,如果用規範性的婚姻去限制,兩者本質的衝突就如同科學去衡量藝術,所以我認為,把婚姻設定為愛情的下一站,結果往往是挫折, 背離人性的婚姻成為雙方無盡的忍耐或衝突.
或許真正懂得愛情的人,不會將愛情限制在社會體制之中,愛情是一種對美感受的過程,它的不規範性需要在愛情中及不在愛情中的人們,以更豁達的心胸去看待人類在愛情的各種可能,該進化的不是我們的心而是我們的腦.
In marriage, people having affair are more than ones having happiness. In the hegemony era of love liberalism which outmaneuvers capitalism, it is less an irony than the outcome of treating marriage as the definite destination of love.
Marriage and love are two different concepts. Marriage is the socialized product whose core value is the maintenance of social order-the distribution and declaration of the right on sex. The one-to-one marriage system ensures that right on sex and the right on the ownership of reproduction, which offer the bases of social stability and is pretty similar to the function of law.
In the first class at law school, professors may tell you justice is the pursuit of law. When you know more about law, you would know that justice is one of the values rather the only one. New law prefers to let off for one's past wrongdoings, because society is evolving and no one can assure what we do today is flawless in the law of future. Therefore, the non-retrospective of law is to eliminate such uncertainty and maintain social order. Order is one of the core values of law and social traditions. So is marriage.
But problems arise from the betraying of human nature of law and marriage. Law punishes fraud which is part of human nature. Marriage limits human relationship to one-one situation, which is seldom achieved from the heart of people in the real world. The primitive passion and sensation of love equals to the joyful perception of the beauty in art, which in nature is disorder. The order posed by marriage to love creates clash as science judge art. Therefore, the outcomes that people treat marriage as the next step of love are usually frustrating. Then what exists in a marriage is the endless enduring or clashing.
Maybe people who really know about love would not put their love into form widely recognized in society. Love is about the perception to beauty. The chaotic nature and all kinds of possibility of love need the open mind of people in love or not in love. What should change for advance is not heart but our thinking.
閱讀社會學,就像開啟另一雙眼,社會及世界在你的眼前有著新的姿態,這本現代性也可以給你這種感受.
